A Little Bit About Myself

I was recently invited to speak for the Young Women Organization (YWO) at my daughter's school. It took me over a week to think about what I would speak about. And then I dawned on me, I would tell them who I am, and what I'm really all about. 

 

Here is what I had to say:

بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم

السلام عليكم

Good evening everyone, my name is Modia Batterjee. Tonight I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself.

 

In 1992, I was one year shy of my 20th birthday. That summer something happened to me that changed my life forever. It changed my understanding of this world and why I was living in it. 

I had a near death experience.

I won't go into the details of how or why it happened because of my limited time to speak, but I will say that it was a freak accident. A near death experience is when your soul leaves your body for a very short time but then quickly comes back. The experience of my soul leaving my body was a beautiful experience. The most beautiful I have ever had.

There was nothingness; JUST ME.

No light, no sound, just me.

Me in a globular form that I did not recognize.

But I was ok,

Actually I was quite content and happy.

I was relieved from the weight of my body and excited to move forward.

A gentle force began to pull me towards it through a dark tunnel that had a very bright light at the end. 

I could hear echoes of soft voices chattering and a great deal of laughter.

I anticipated my arrival and knew that I would go through a check-in like process at a reception area. Similar to a hotel.

But one that would ask me specific questions that would determine where I would be placed. I was not worried at all.

In those few minutes or what felt like minutes I was eager to join the laughter, the love, the joy, the comfort, and the pure acceptance. 

As soon as I felt the movement of my spherical soul pick up momentum, there was a sudden halt. This startled me in the most gentle way. I then felt a being approach me to my left. I couldn't see anybody but I most definitely felt its presence. It had a very warm yet authoritative existence. Something similar to a teacher whom you love and respect at the same time. 

This being was very apologetic in its tone, it wasn't a he or a she but it had some kind of authority that I understood immediately. It communicated to me that I was not supposed to be there; I had to go back. It said "you still have work to do". My response was "no I don't, I'm only 19" but before I could even finish my sentence I found myself stuffed back into my body like you'd stuff a large pillow into a small pillow case. 

I must admit it was painful.

Once I was physically conscious again and had full awareness that I was injured and needed medical assistance I knew that this experience was special.

This experience taught me that I had a purpose in this life. And I was not allowed to leave and go back to that laughter filled place until my purpose was complete.

Since that day I have never passed on an opportunity to do good, to give, to help, to share, to educate, because I know that one of these or all of these together are me fulfilling my purpose. At age 36 I completed my doctorate degree in Health Administration, while I was the mother of three, the Sindi kids, you may know them Omar, Maryam, and Eisa. Five years prior in 2004 I co-founded Albidayah Breastfeeding Resource and Women's Awareness Center in Jeddah. The only center of its kind in Saudi Arabia. That lead princess Reema Bint Bandar AlSaud and I to become partners on her national breast cancer campaigns with Zahra Breast Cancer Association. Together a forceful team we broke the Guinness book of world records for the largest human awareness ribbon TWICE, in 2010 & 2015.

These records are special because they are the largest gathering of women in the history of Saudi Arabia, and in 2010 it was in an all male soccer stadium which has never happened before or again since then.

Because I'm on a life long search for my purpose I tend to do several things at the same time. In 2013 my sister and I founded two businesses. The first, Beejewelboutique a cause oriented jewelry brand where we celebrate female resilience by designing and selling our symbol the Queen Bee. Resilience is that core energy that a woman feels in her heart to keep herself going despite the difficulties she may face. I believe that Middle Eastern women display the best examples of female resilience.

In 2013 we also founded a Date Paste exporting company named Date Middle East boutique, the acronym reads DateME.. this business takes advantage of one of the kingdoms most abundant resources DATES. You have to make money at some point and we are hoping that this will grow into a huge money making cow. 

I was asked to talk about my barriers, and honestly besides being a woman in the Middle East the only crippling barriers I face are the ones I find in myself. These are unfounded fears and misconceptions I have about my own capabilities. 

 

Sometimes I surprise myself and do things I never thought I could do. As a certified Lactation consultant I wrote and published a book title "A fading art. Understanding breastfeeding in the the Middle East" this book is listed on the required reading for volunteers currently helping with the Syrian refugee crises in Greece. 

 

I created my own worth, and my achievements were an uphill battle that I am proud of.

I strive with perseverance, wit, and drawing power from my internal resilience.

 

I advise young women to:

-Be creative, 

-Don't focus on your obstacles, 

-Stay focused on your goals and they will happen.   

 

My grandmother always said "Smart people never get bored". If you are smart, do something. I have a strong belief that I am here on earth for a purpose. I try to find my purpose on a daily basis.

Its all about time management and setting priorities.

Study, finish school, focus on your degrees, don't be afraid to ask, put yourself out there. Embrace your own resilience. Have faith, prepare yourself and JUST DO IT!

 

THANK YOU!

 

I am A Loser

I must say it is sobering to have lost a battle.

A cancer victim wakes up one morning and realizes that there is no way out but to give in and let go of life and all things valuable. There is a specific crispness to these very sober thoughts. A shear frankness of acceptance that leaves no room for tears. A bravery comes upon one to face and accept the loss and scream "uncle" in defeat. 

I am amazed with cancer because it is not just a physical disease that ails our bodies while suffocating the life out if us. To me cancer is just a representation in the most extreme form of ALL sickness. The tumor itself can be representative of an actual person that has brought sickness to a family distorting relationships and altering behavior. A member who has sabotaged the function of familial relationships bringing all life and joy to a screeching halt. 

Losing is definitely part of the game. Being the loser is as victorious as winning in a way, sometimes only because the game has finally ended and there will be calmness and serenity. Being the loser forces one to be mature lowering ones head, bowing the shoulders, and folding back into ones own existence.

In my mind, I can hear the loud piercing ring of my sword falling onto the stone floor.
That's it I am done.

The thought and realization of losing is disturbing only because I know that I have put in my all only to lose. A glimmer of hope comes in with the question of "what's next?" But then I am brought back to reality and my mind realizes that I have lost. I have lost because I was not cheered for, I had no chance. The sweeping force of finishing me came from the first blow. I had no hope to begin with. I should've walked away from the start, but I thought I was strong.

The reality is that I am not strong. I am a loser.

Why Islamic Scholars Should Support the Global Breastfeeding Movement.

Sheikh Yusuf Estes

 A man came to the Prophet Mohammad and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)

Religion has existed in every civilization throughout history and commonly focuses on the spiritual and social development of individuals, societies, and cultures. Religious scholars contend that religions have basic features, such as a clear set of textual statements about right and wrong, with a set of devised expectations for their followers.

Islam is the only religion, where maternal well-being and breastfeeding are covered in detail. The Quran requires that all infants are to be breastfed for the first two years of life. The Quran also holds the father responsible and requires that he support the nursing mother by providing her with food and clothing throughout the breastfeeding period. If the mother is unable to breastfeed, the father is obligated to provide another lactating woman to feed the infant on the mother’s behalf.  Together WHO, UNICEF, Holy Quran, and Sunnah clearly stress the importance of breastfeeding for the duration of two complete years. However, though most mothers in Islamic nations start breastfeeding their infants after delivery, they cease to do so quickly and introduce supplemental artificial feedings.

Sheikh Hamza Yusuf Hanson

Current statistics from the U.N. state that today Islam is the worlds second largest religion after Christianity; with an annual growth rate of around 6.40% compared to 1.46% for Christianity. According to these statistics, one in five people on the planet are Muslim. Islamic scholars are very successful in impacting individuals and sharing their knowledge that supports a healthy and vigorous community. Despite the scientific community's effort to promote, protect, and support breastfeeding, culture and religion still have a significant role, even if they don’t realize it yet. With the proper support from Islamic scholars breastfeeding rates should be on the rise as well.

Science, reported by the Lancet medical journal, has established that breastfeeding infants under two years of age, has the greatest impact on child survival rates compared to all other protective medical interventions. In addition, the Lancet reports that breastfeeding also has the potential to prevent over 800,000 deaths in children under five in the developing world where there is a high burden of disease and low access to clean water and sanitation. Despite this fact the UNICEF website reports that “only 39 per cent of children less than six months of age in the developing world are exclusively breastfed and just 58 per cent of 20-23 month olds benefit from the practice of continued breastfeeding”.

Sheikh Mufti Ismail Musa Menk

The potential impact of optimal breastfeeding practices is especially important in the developing countries. Yet non-breastfed children in industrialized countries are also at greater risk of dying despite high sanitation and medical care access in their communities. UNICEF reports a recent study of post-neonatal mortality in the United States found a 25% increase among non-breastfed infants. Similarly in the UK Millennium Cohort Survey, six months of exclusive breastfeeding was associated with a 53% decrease in hospital admissions for diarrhea and a 27% decrease in respiratory tract infections.

The Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) said: “God has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers.” (Sahih AlBukhari)

It is imperative that women receive true support on all levels. Breastfeeding mothers warrant support at hospital level, at the work place, and on the social spiritual level. If scholars are preaching to make the world a better place, where else is a better place to start than at the crux of humanity where it all begins, between mother and child? It is essential for all community leaders to embrace mothers and begin with maternity protection as well as protection against the unscrupulous marketing of artificial formula milk, to name but a few measures.  

A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: “(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

The WHO and Islamic text together are very adamant about the importance of breastfeeding and the need for the child to be breastfed and in close contact with the mother or milk mother for the first two years of life. So why don’t the Islamic scholars get behind this global movement and support it? 

Who said breastfeeding is a choice?

This is my opinion piece in response to online discussions about the news of Federal National Council committee adding breastfeeding clause to UAE’s Child Rights Law.

Who said breastfeeding is a choice?

Perhaps it is for the mother but it is most definitely not a choice for the baby. According to my Islamic understanding all babies are to be breastfed; the choice is whether it is from his birth mother or from another woman.

If we go back to the Quran it clearly states the desire to complete the term of breastfeeding. An in depth look at the four ayahs on childbearing and breastfeeding/weaning, we can deduce that a mother has the choice to complete the term or not, herself. The calculated term for breastfeeding is a range between twenty-one and twenty-four months, depending on the length of pregnancy.

2.233: The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years, if [you] desire to complete the term. But the father shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms.

Notice, it states here the desire to complete the term for two whole years, not the desire to breastfeed or not.

31.014: And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail up on travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command).

Mentioned again, weaning after two years a total of twenty-four months.

46.015: We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months.

Quran regards breastfeeding a continuation of child bearing. If a child was carried in the womb for nine months, weaning can be after twenty-one months to total a term of thirty months. If the child was carried for less than nine months it is recommended to wean after 24 months for the completion of the term if she desires to do so herself.

65.006: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (mother’s) behalf.  

It is clearly stated here that if the mother chooses not to complete the term of breastfeeding, than another woman shall feed the baby. If the parents decide mutually that the mother shall not feed the baby herself, the father is responsible to provide for another woman to feed the baby on the mother’s behalf to complete the total of thirty months of child bearing and breastfeeding compiled. So, the choices that we are looking at here are the choice for the mother to feed or for a wet nurse to feed. The choices are not between breast milk and artificial milk for the baby, the choices are breast milk from the mother to complete the term or breast milk from a wet nurse to complete the term.

Breastfeeding is so much more than simply placing a baby on a mother’s breast to feed for nutrients. The method in which a baby is nourished in the first two years of life has an impact on health, emotional development, and the general wellbeing for a lifetime. As a whole, a given health care system should be the ultimate source of information and support for mothers in order to sustain these infant rights to proper feeding, nourishment, and development. Positive changes towards the practice of breastfeeding in maternity facilities and hospital environments imposed by governments are necessary for any major improvement in society related to breastfeeding and mothering practices. And if countries in the Middle East feel that it is pertinent to impose laws to protect these infant rights than so be it. Infant breastfeeding is essential for the benefits it provides to the child, and it should be focused on and considered an important aspect of disease prevention and economic stability by any country. In my humble opinion we are not talking about women’s rights, we are talking about infant rights. It is very clearly stated in the Quran that an infant shall be fed breast milk be it by the birth mother or another mother for a complete term of up to two years.

The only time feeding naturally for an infant became a choice was with the introduction of artificial milk by artificial milk industries and the misinterpretation of Quran and science. I personally don’t think it is fair to impose on an infant anything artificial. It is well documented that breastfed infants are protected from ailments including diarrhea, respiratory infections, otitis media, asthma, and many others. Additionally, WHO/UNICEF estimates annual deaths of 1.5 million infants worldwide because they are subjected to diseases related to not being breastfed.

If I gave you the choice to eat an artificial apple or a natural apple, which would you choose? I suppose you would choose the natural one, because the artificial one is made of an assortment of chemicals, preservatives, and sugar. So, why would you give your newborn child artificial milk? It is made of an assortment of chemicals, preservatives, sugar, and adjusted cow milk or soymilk proteins.

How would we feed our infants if for some reason the world faced an economic crisis that shut down all artificial milk factories? How would women know how to breastfeed if we don’t keep the art of breastfeeding alive? How would our daughters learn how to breastfeed if we don’t role model for them? Do we have to wait for war, death, and disease before we realize the value of keeping the art of breastfeeding alive and protected?

© all rights reserved by Modia Batterjee

Revised Adoption Article Published in Green Prophet

Please visit this link to read my revised version of the adoption article that was published in Green Prophet, an online Newspaper for the Middle East
http://www.greenprophet.com/2013/04/breastfeeding-islam-adoption/#comment-122524

Adoptive Breastfeeding for Muslim Families

The issue of adoption in Islam is controversial. From my understanding, it is not recommended by Islamic teachings to adopt a child and give him or her a different name from the one given by the biological parents or family. However, there are many children who are brought into this world with unknown parents for many reasons that make it quite difficult to attribute a child to a specific family. Under Islamic law, many children are brought into a family as foster children and given a random name. The children are reared and cared for as family members in childhood, but not given any rights of biological relations or inheritance as an adult. The absence of these rights maintains the privileges of potential marriage within the family and independence from the family in adulthood.

There is one exception to the rule, which is breastfeeding. Breastfeeding an infant or child under the age of two years can improve the child’s adoptive situation because breastfeeding gives the child the rights of birth. The Holy Quran clearly states “Let another woman suckle (the child) on the (mother’s) behalf” (65:6), and the Hadith by Aisha (blessing of Allah upon her) says, “Breastfeeding denies what is denied by birth.” These statements support the notion that other than the birth mother, any lactating woman can be the milk mother of a child and give that child the same birthrights as her own. It is agreed that in order for her to accomplish this she must feed an infant three to five satisfying feeds. A satisfying feed is approximated at around 50 ml of expressed breast milk; as soon as she has completed these three to five feeds, she is considered a milk-mother and has rights to the child just as much as his biological mother. This means the child will be a child to her husband, a sibling to her children, and a relative to all extended family members.

Any woman can breastfeed, whether she has recently delivered a baby or not. It is biologically possible for a woman to lactate or relactate, regardless of her childbearing status. I have experienced this possibility with several adoptive mothers. Some of these mothers were women who had been married for many years and had never conceived a child. Lactation and milk expression took approximately two weeks. To encourage lactation, the mothers began by orally taking 60 mg of Domperidone a day and several cups of brewed Fenugreek while pumping and stimulating their breasts every two to four hours. During the first week, small beads of milk could be seen coming out of the breast; by the end of two weeks, the mothers were able to express 250 ml of breast milk, fulfilling the need for the five feeds to make the children their own. In some instances, as soon as the child was fed the full 250 ml, the mother ceased the medication and stopped pumping as the milk diminished naturally.

Adoptive breastfeeding is a beautiful option for couples who want a child and for a child who needs loving parents. Adoptive breastfeeding is a tool that can be used to improve lives. It forces the biological relationship to be primary to rearing an adopted infant. Through breastfeeding, nature has given women a means to give life, improve circumstances, and correct social problems.

TopKapi

I found in my self the love of the ancient times. When I walked through the gates I knew I liked this place. The intensity of history hovering like a cloud over its courtyards felt strong. It was cold but attractive. Build in 1459, by Sultan Mehmed II Topkapi Palace was the primary residence the Sultans of the Ottman Empire for 400 years. It is a large palace located in Istanbul, Turkey. 

Everything was exhibited; bedrooms, sitting rooms, offices, and hammams (bathing rooms) were displayed for the present to meet the past. It was quiet but I could feel the energy of those who lived here many centuries ago. The sense of walking through hallways, bedrooms, and offices of people who lived many years ago was nostalgic. I could feel them, hear their words whispering from echoes in the past. It has been a home to as many as 4000 people at one time. The tour guide explained and brought only a fraction of their lives to our imaginations with concrete facts. In addition to it being a royal residence it was also used for royal entertainment and state occasions. This major tourist attraction holds important holy Muslim relics that include Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) cloak and several swords. This beautiful palace is made up of four main courtyards and many smaller buildings that include a mosque, hospital, bakeries, and a mint. The name Topkapi translates as “Cannon gate Palace” in reference to a close by gate that has since been destroyed.